In April of 1997, a project to provide Nunkies for all the NA members was launched. However, due to unforseen defects, reports of leakage in some of the Clones has come to light. We are forced to recall the previous models for replacement. We cannot however assume responsibility for leakage caused by overuse or malicious destruction by jealous husbands or significant others.
NUNKIES FOR ALL AND ALL FOR NUNKIES - PART 2: THE RETURN OF THE NUNKIES CLONES by Rosemary Beard and Libby Singleton
NiteRose and Puckypoo were sitting in their lab when the first calls came in.
"He leaks." the voice on the other end of the phone complained, "I can't even take him out in public - and who's gonna pay for cleaning my carpet?"
"Have you tried cutting down his fluid intake?" NiteRose asked.
"He's a vampire!" the caller said in an aggitated voice. "What am I supposed to do, suggest he switch to hamburger?"
"Good luck with that plan," Puckypoo replied, grinning wickedly.
Another caller complained, "I just stood him in the corner and when I turned back around, I saw the puddle. It was so embarassing."
"Have you tried superglue and a patch kit?" NiteRose asked.
"I think its gonna take more than a patch kit to fix this one," Puckypoo replied. "Maybe we need to issue a recall."
"Ok, ok. If you think it will help. But there's nothing wrong with mine! He doesn't leak," NiteRose said. Puckypoo got up to answer a knock at the door. An irritated NA member entered the room, dragging her clone behind her. "I want a new one," she wailed, "this one leaks!!"
NiteRose and Puckypoo looked at each other. "Bring it in. We'll have a look at it," they said in unison.
Placing the clone on an table, Puckypoo and NiteRose began to examine it closely.
"What's this?!" Puckypoo asked, looking up from her magnifying glass. "Bite marks?"
"I...uh...it was an accident. I didn't mean to...I...uh...got carried away," the owner said, her face reddening.
"I'm sorry." NiteRose informed her, "we aren't responsible for damage done during a feeding frenzy. Leave it here, we'll see what we can do."
Puckypoo put her arm around the blushing owner and led her to the door. "Don't worry," she whispered, "we won't tell anyone." Closing the door, she walked back across the room.
Suddenly a rush of wind swept the room. Turning toward the sound, both women found themselves staring up into a pair of blue eyes. It was HIM!
"Problems ladies?" he asked, a wicked smile crossing his lips.
"Well, uh, we, um," NiteRose stammered.
Puckypoo, sensing the danger they were in, stepped toward Nunkies and asked," Have you seen the latest fantasies? I can get you a copy, if you like."
"More?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with interest. "Such fertile imaginations these mortal females have."
"Yes, I have them on my computer. I'll print them out for you." Puckypoo hurried over to her computer, which was still inside the cloning machine. "Darn, I forgot - it's not working. My cat spilled Fresca all over it."
"I know a bit about computers, perhaps I can help," he said, unable to resist the chance to read what they had written about him. Stepping into the machine, he began to tinker with the computer.
Puckypoo, seeing her opportunity, slammed the door shut behind Nunkies and threw the switch, trapping him inside.
NiteRose activated the machine, adding some chemicals, two tubes of superglue, a large patch kit and a copy of the NA Fantasy manual. Once again the machine grinds, shakes, and shudders!!! Looking at each other, NiteRose and Puckypoo cross their fingers and wait. An hour later, the machine opens and out steps the New and Improved clones.
NiteRose quickly took hold of one by the hand and bit him. No leaks. "We've done it!" she shouted.
Puckypoo and NiteRose dance around the room celebrating, unaware of the blue eyes watching them. Smiling , he walks to the window and flies off into the night.
The next night at the Jeweled Peach, NiteRose and Puckypoo give the NA members their new, improved, leak-proof Nunkies Clones. Everyone wanders off to celebrate with their copy of Nunkies.
NiteRose looked at Puckypoo with a worried expression on her face. "What do we do with the old ones?" she asked.